Deflection

Deflection is a maneuver for turning aside from direct contact with another person. It's a way of taking the heat off the actual contact. The heat is taken off by circumlocution, by excessive language, by laughing off what one says, by not looking at the person one is talking to, by abstract rather than specific, by not getting the point, by coming up with bad examples or none at all, by politeness rather directness, by stereotyped language instead of original language, by substituting mild emotions for intense ones, by talking about the past when the present is more relevant, by talking about rather than talking to, and by shrugging off the importance of what one has just said.

/Erving & Miriam Polster, Gestalt Therapy Integrated

曾經和一班同事說話間，某人提起一件悲慘事件，很快地另一人說起自己更慘的另一事件，登時野火燎原，一人一嘴，開展「我更慘」競賽，最終變成一場笑局，最後勝出者為家裡每粒米切半，只幾顆半粒米一餐者。

好多人的交流，不碰及情感。風一動便轉移感受。
杉杉有禮，人云亦云，轉移話題，製造笑話。

我不是說這樣不好。Deflection有它存在的因由。
而是，有時，緩一緩，停一停，如果不做些甚麼，說些甚麼，自己心裡那當兒，感受了甚麼？
可願意給那感受，一點兒陪伴及認同？
認同自己，認同他人。